To grieve is a powerful form of transformation. It is the process of letting go and offers valuable insight into events that may have happened in the past. Like leaves falling from a tree, making the tree bare, our tears of grief strip us of false identities, ideals, and attachments. The bare branches allow us to see the truth.
Feelings of vulnerability arise when the gentle breeze of grief comes to shed our leaves of attachment. The sense of loss—the discomfort of being emotionally naked—can be equally alarming. Nakedness reveals our core self, our true quest. Yet when this nakedness is filtered through the conditioned mind and the stories we tell ourselves, it can bring shame and guilt to the surface—emotions we often want to run from or quickly cover up.
Ideals, dreams, and past experiences that once painted a picture of who we are are slowly washed away with grief. Grief is the echo of loss—it can arise from losing a loved one, a breakup, a job, a disappointment, or any situation in which our expectations are not met. It is a powerful portal of cleansing and healing.
It’s easy to get stuck in grief—mulling over past narratives, hankering, and lamenting what never came to fruition. It can linger like dead leaves on a tree, waiting for the winds of time to blow away the last vestiges.
Grief can bind us in the cycle of self-absorption, or it can free us into surrender—into the embrace of grace or God. Grief brings us to a threshold. It is a pivotal point, a doorway to surrender, to a deeper quest in life. One must walk through this threshold to step into surrender. Sometimes it feels as though we are pushed or forced through, yet we must also consciously choose to walk into the unknown beyond grief.
It’s easy to stand at the threshold and wait. To wander. To turn around and walk back into the past—reattaching to old habits, creating comfort just because it’s familiar. But that comfort becomes a covering, an escape from feeling.
In the urgency to be defined again, we cling to external experiences: a new job, a new relationship, a new life. Grief broke our sense of identity, and we search for what we lost, thinking we’re embracing something new—when really, we may just be covering up again, trying to bandage the nakedness. Until the cycle of loss and disappointment returns. Grief hits hard again.
In Sanskrit, there is a word: Ashraya. When grief or despair arises, a gravitational force of seeking shelter naturally parallels. This pull to take refuge is part of our survival mechanism. It may arise consciously or unconsciously.
There are two ways to seek shelter. One is through numbing out—escaping the pain of grief through alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or other addictions. The other is through conscious Ashraya—turning toward a higher power. Through prayer or meditation, we open ourselves to revelation, insight, and clarity. These revelations give us the strength to shed the past and move forward
Getting stuck in grief means remaining stuck in the past, unwilling to let go of the false identities that cause pain.
But grief can also liberate—when its energy is offered back to the Source. The deepest awakening in grief is the realization of our separation from the Beloved, from grace. When the power of grief is returned to its origin, to the divine, we find relief.
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